If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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