He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
