Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
