Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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