she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
