Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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