I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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