then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
