You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
