i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
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