god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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