Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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