i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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