you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
