i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
