We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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