White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
