yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
