My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you win again, gameday.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
