No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
