he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
