There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
