I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
