can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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