if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
