So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
