Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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