I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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