i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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