You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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