you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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