I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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