o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
