just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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