well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
