we made out on top of his cat.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
