Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
