Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
