I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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