she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
