Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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