I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
