ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
