It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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