party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
