So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
