i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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