she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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