bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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