Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
